Scared little Love Bug

I have to say, thus far, Avery has been a pretty great kid. Sure, she has her moments of pure insanity, but overall, it has taken very little effort on our parts for the big things, like getting her to sleep without having to be rocked, taking a long nap on schedule everyday and weaning from things like the binkey or bottle.

It seems though that our luck has run its course. Lately, our little Love Bug has been scared of almost everything. She saw a bug on the playground at school and flipped out, she constantly has to say out loud that there are "no snakes", and has been waking up a couple of times at night too scared to fall back asleep. Also, what was once the easiest child in the world to put down for a nap or bed for the night, has all of sudden become very needy and wants more than anything to "snuggle momma's bed."

Sure, I would love to snuggle at every request, and often I do; but, as every parent I think will tell you, that is not always feasible - especially nap time, since I work from home and that is my only time to get a good chunk of work hours in during a day. On the other hand, I feel so bad to hear her cry. No longer am I hearing the cries of baby or a newborn - I am hearing the full out fit of a little girl, wanting nothing more than her momma. So, more times than not, I give in - read just one more book, lay beside her on the floor by her bed, or even (gasp!) take her to my bed to fall asleep or take her nap. John Lee always is quick to say, "Do we really want to start that?", meaning a bad habit (Avery is great at remembering everything, so even if we do something out of the norm that she likes, just one time, she will remember and remind us about it every chance she gets). I, on the other hand, feel trapped between a rock and a hard place. Sure, I don't want her in bed with us any more than he does, but I don't want to sleep on a hard floor either - because, let's face it, we aren't going to get away without doing one of the other. Sure, I know I am the parent and "what I say goes", but I have quickly found that with a toddler, that is not always so simple.

More than anything, all I want is to have the answers. I am not a patient person - never have claimed to be. I fear more than anything that my life is going to be in total disarray when baby #2 makes his or her appearance, and right now, Avery isn't helping to ease that feeling. Overall though, I am doing the best that I can and I want nothing more than Avery to feel secure - secure in her home, secure in her surroundings and secure with her parents and family. I am sure that this new baby has thrown the Love Bug for a loop, and she has no clue how to express those feeling to me any other way than through new fears and attachment issues.

Through it all, I hope to wake up each day with a smile on my face grateful for the blessing that is my Love Bug. Sure, my patience is forever and always being tested - and let's face it - it will be that way for the rest of my life because I am a parent - but, through it all, I am so grateful that I have the most precious loving little girl anyone could ask for.

I love that kid for than anything and I know she loves me too!

Great story - today, we were playing and she called me "Best". I asked her, "does that mean momma is your best friend?" and she said, "yes". I couldn't have asked for a better compliment from her. And let's face it, she really is my best friend too.

Until next time.

Lots of love.
Emily